Youth

When I was young. That is a statement that hits me with a whirlwind of emotions.

Happiness. Nostalgia. Sorrow. Longing.10931620_10205279991112898_5615011891910006121_o

As I think back to that magical time, when it felt like I would never grow up. But I did. And so it came about that I began to forget the ways of child, of imagination and becoming something entirely made up, but to me, as real as anything else. That feeling of having nothing to do and, instead of distracting myself with the internet, I would create something to do. From nothing, I would make everything.

But, my childhood almost lost this aspect through something totally unexpected. My parents. They must not have understood the playtime that I really needed to grow, but luckily, both my parents worked during the day. So I had to stay at my aunt’s house. And because she had already had about seven other kids, she knew that we needed to play. Like a lot.

And it was fun. Like, it literally caused me to end up the way I am today.

All because of fun, friend-filled, play. Just play.

But back to those emotions I get. So they don’t come up as often as they used to, mainly because I just have too much to think about. But there are those specific things: movies, songs, and sometimes even just ideas. And then I remember when I was young. I remember the good and I remember the bad. I remember the way that I spent the day. The way I was alive.

And I remember when that feeling died.

And that’s why, I think, when I go back to the good old days when things were easy, but at the same time I hate it. Because all those feelings come up again because I want to go back to that time again when I wasn’t stressed out. When I had no worries or desires or urges. The things that I’ve done since then would make younger me sad. And it’s not really a bad thing.It’s important to reflect, especially on things that hurt you. And losing your childhood to life certainly hurts.

The strangest part about it is that most kids want to grow up. They don’t want to be kids because they can’t do adult things. Like driving a car. So instead they fly to the moon in a cardboard box. They swim to the bottom of the ocean in their own pool. The interesting thing about kids is that when they are deprived of something, like adulthood, they tend to want that thing more and then try there best to achieve it through imagination.

Everyone remembers when they would play “House” with their friends or siblings and pretend to be a functioning adult. And for whatever reason the only thing that a child can’t have is the one thing that they want the most. It was the same for me.

The things I wanted to do when I was little reflected that of an entirely different person than what I have become. Through difficulties, pain, and loss, I have become a changed human. Instead of wanting to be a millionaire, I want to help people. As I get older, the things I wanted have shifted form being self centered to wanting to help people. And I think that’s because as I’ve grown older, the things that have made me the most happy, are helping other people.

Overall the concept that children need to have a good, play-filled childhood, is important because kids need to develop important social and imaginative skills. And those childhood experiences you have are pivotal in helping become who you will end up to be.

They were important in making me the way I am.

 

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